


scene stealer

by sciencebluefeelings



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Circus, Dubious Consent, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:34:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22515544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sciencebluefeelings/pseuds/sciencebluefeelings
Summary: Tightrope walker Spock Prime encounters new property man Jim Kirk.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock Prime, Spock/Governor Kodos
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	scene stealer

Spock will always prefer the suspension of a cable to the earth parallel below. In the air, he is able to escape the overwhelming majority of those that stay firmly grounded, if only for a moment. In the air, everything becomes simple.

The crowds below voicing their approval is Kodos' concern, and none of his own. The ringmaster knew this when he hired Spock, and doesn't begrudge him about it. Spock is a diligent hire, after all, and puts on an excellent performance, during the show or in private. In return, Kodos leaves Spock alone when he is at his practice tightrope, strung between two stout poles some distance from the main tent.

There must be an important matter at hand, as Kodos is breaking that rule now. Spock watches from his vantage point as Kodos approaches with an individual trailing slightly behind him. The newcomer is bright and muscled, and he walks with a slight swagger and smirk. Spock dislikes him immediately.

"Spock, meet our new hire. Jim Kirk. He's going to replace Hendorff." A new property man, then. Spock gives the freckled man another once over.

"Pleasure to meet you," Jim says with a wink. "Heard you're the main attraction around these parts? Certainly look like it."

Spock returns his focus to the wire and steps away. He can hear Kodos' voice becoming distant behind him. "Not the most talkative brat, but he's well worth his price."

Jim's rough timbre is slow to reply. "I see. Well, there aren't that many experienced tightrope walkers."

"Oh, that's not what we keep him around for." Kodos laughs as they walk away.

Spock closes his eyes and wills his body to stay in the air, forever weightless as the sky above.

"May I sit here?" Spock raises an eyebrow and looks up at the source of the voice. Jim Kirk smiles at him, setting down his plate of food across from Spock's without waiting for a response. 

Spock resists the urge to roll his eyes. As Jim sits down on the bench, Spock looks down the length of the long table and sees Scotty passing a dollar bill to Uhura.

Apparently those two are not the only ones that have Jim as the focus of their attention. Spock can see Lenore Karidian in an outfit more revealing than usual, angling her body towards Jim, fluttering her eyelashes. "The ringmaster's daughter has taken notice of you," Spock observes, gesturing with his spoon. "Why not humor her instead?"

"I'm more for the older, handsome and grumpy type myself," the new property man says cheekily. They make eye contact.

Spock cannot deny Jim is appealing to look at, with charming dark brown eyes and freckles scattered across his tanned skin and face. The muscles of his arms and shoulders are well-built and sleek.

Spock looks away.

"How long have you been at this circus?" Jim asks, curious.

"Approximately twenty-eight point two five years."

Jim huffs. "Approximately, huh? That's a long time to stay in one place."

"Yes. Recently - I had been considering transferring my talents to another circus."

"What happened?"

Spock's throat tightens thinking of Pike, his warm smile and hands, of how he disappeared one day without notice only for his still body to be found by the police. "He died."

Jim's eyes are impassive as they eat the rest of their meal together in silence.

The new property man is not nearly as intrusive as Spock expected him to be. He doesn't shirk his duties, checks multiple times to make sure all the equipment is secure, and has become fast friends with everyone, even the elusive trapeze artist Saavik. No one has gotten her out of her shell before. Spock becomes intrigued.

But his curiosities will have to wait. There is a performance tonight to prepare for. Spock sits rigid in Sulu's trailer as Sulu carefully paints his body and face. The feeling of the brush on his skin, of wet paint cooled by the chilly air, is methodical and familiar. 

"What do you think?" Spock is startled out of his trance by Sulu standing abruptly, scrutinizing his work. "Tried less silver tonight, more blue. It looks brighter."

Not bothering to wait for the paint to dry, Spock nods his thanks to Sulu and dresses in his scant tights, the only clothing of his threadbare costume. Sulu used to complain about Spock walking away before the paint was fully dried, but he now knows that Spock never smudges his handiwork, not even the slightest bit. 

Spock enters backstage and feels his skin prickle. He remains completely still as Kodos slinks in front of him, circling him and scrutinizing his bared torso and vulnerable bare feet. 

Spock does not make eye contact. The other acrobats and performers walk by without a second glance. Kodos leans forward, barely grazing Spock's thickly painted cheek with his lips. "My trailer afterwards, as usual. Don't be late."

He walks away without sparing Spock a second glance. Spock walks to his waiting room with his head held high. As always, he will be the final performance. He can follow the proceedings in his mind based on the timing of the music and its various shifts. 

For whatever reason, Spock is compelled to leave his place earlier, and watch the graceful movements of the other performers, every action well-memorized over years of practice.

Spock can see Jim some distance away. He has not noticed Spock, too intently focused on the colors and sights of the ring. His eyes are wide with wonder and admiration.

It has been so long since Spock saw anything to merit such awe.

Spock makes his way to the ladders, slinking up towards the tightrope's platform, breathing deeply.

The act before him finishes up and exits the ring. Spock is prepared when the blinding spotlight turns on him, illuminating his makeup and outstretched arm.

Spock walks on air, and the earth below becomes distant. He wonders once, in the back of his mind, what Jim’s expression looks like now.

Spock hacks up the bitter tang of come, his hands and knees on the hardwood floor. Kodos looks on as Spock coughs, still sitting back on his oversized comforter. "That's a good look on you, dear." A thumb rises to rub at the corner of Spock's eye. When it withdraws, Spock sees the blue of makeup not properly removed in his haste. "You can go now."

Spock's breath shudders and he heaves himself to his feet, faltering slightly at the throbbing pain inside him. He will have to check for bleeding again. He goes to Kodos' wardrobe and pulls out the first tunic and trousers he can find. After dressing, he briskly rinses out his mouth and splashes water on his face. By the time he shoulders out the door, Kodos is already half-asleep.

The grounds are mercifully quiet, but Spock sticks to his usual route of circumvention, discreet as he navigates towards his trailer.

"Who's there?" Spock makes a surprised noise as someone grabs his wrist and a bright light is shone in his face.

Jim lowers his flashlight. "Spock!" Spock blinks and sees stars surrounding Jim's shifting expression, surprise turning to confusion to shock. Spock winces. He already knows he reeks of sex and blood, and based on Jim's growing anger, the bruise on his cheekbone looks worse than it feels. "Who did this to you?"

Spock shakes off Jim's grasp with more force than necessary. He can't bring himself to meet the younger man's gaze. "You misunderstand."

"Misunderstand _what?_ "

Spock controls his breathing, tries to think of himself on a wire far from here, from anywhere, like he did when Kodos' hand was gripping his hair, forcing him down deeper still as he orgasmed down Spock's throat. "It was a completely - consensual state of affairs."

Jim's loud voice softens. "Spock. If it's consensual, why can't you look me in the eye?"

Spock doesn’t answer. He feels warmth getting closer to him again, gently nudging him. "Where's your trailer, Spock? I'm not sure where you live."

Spock mutters a number, wondering if Jim understood what he said. He feels himself being guided forward in the right direction, down the path, around the hill and up the two steps to the door. Spock enters the trailer, grateful for its enclosed privacy, hating it for its dark emptiness.

"Should I go?" Jim hovers at the threshold.

Spock takes a deep breath. "Do as you please. You may sit here." There's only two seats, a chair and a small sofa. Jim slumps onto the sofa and watches Spock disappear into his bathroom.

Spock leans against the closed door, humiliation welling up in his throat. Almost all the other circus members know of Spock’s questionable liaisons with Kodos, but most assume it is harmless, which it is - for the most part. None had approached him closely enough after one of their ‘encounters’ to suspect something was not quite right.

Spock finally washes and towels off. He doesn’t bother to cover himself as he exits the bathroom to look through his closet. Jim is now looking at the picture frames on the shelf nearby. 

Spock can feel Jim's gaze on his back as he dresses in loose trousers, but Jim doesn't stand up. Jim asks, "Who is this? He looks just like you." Spock looks at Jim gesturing to one of the pictures where Spock smiles for the camera with another individual.

"My younger brother."

"You two stay in contact?"

"He does not approve of my choice of occupation. As does my father." Spock turns to fully face Jim. "You are not obligated to stay with me. I am not under any immediate danger."

Jim is silent for a moment. "Whoever it is - why do you let them do it?"

Spock looks at warm brown eyes, and he finds himself admitting, "I am lonely, and he is accommodating. It is not a matter of letting when I was the one desiring intimacy."

"So you asked first?"

"No, Kodos asked first."

Jim's eyes widen slightly. "Kodos. Would you have let him down easier if he wasn't - you know, the one that hired you?"

Spock is frozen. "Irrelevant. It is in the past, not to mention you present an imaginary scenario. There is no way of knowing what could or couldn't have happened."

Jim is playing with his hands, still looking at the photograph of Spock smiling with his brother. "It's one thing if that's what you want, but it doesn't seem like that to me."

"I know what I want." Spock feels a spark of satisfaction at Jim's shock when Spock straddles his lap. Spock deliberately grinds against his groin, ignoring the protesting pain inside his body.

Jim groans, his hands coming to rest on Spock's hips, fingers twitching with indecision on whether to push Spock away or pull him closer. Spock mouths at Jim's exposed throat, letting his hands drift under Jim's underwear.

Jim pushes Spock off. "I haven't finished locking up for the night," he says with a gasp. Spock tries to grind against Jim again, but Jim's broad hands stop Spock from moving. "I'll be back right after I'm done," Jim says. "Let me up."

"Or I could take care of you first. It would be faster."

Jim shakes his head and firmly pushes Spock away again. He repeats, "After I'm done."

After Spock watches Jim hustle out, he removes his clothing once more and gets into bed, finding his body oil and carefully bearing down on three fingers. They penetrate him easily enough, but he remains flaccid from the sharp, uncomfortable pain of being stretched full again. He removes his fingers and fondles himself, thinking of Jim's soft voice and broad shoulders, but he is unable to achieve another erection by the time he hears footsteps outside his trailer.

Spock rolls over to his elbows and knees, canting his hips up as Jim closes the door. Spock hears zippers undone, the rustle of fabric being removed.

"Lie down."

Spock lowers himself to the mattress, frowning slightly. Jim gets into bed behind him, still in his undershirt and boxers. "How do you sleep?"

"On my side," Spock says, confused. He freezes when he feels the slide of his blankets coming up to cover his body. A hand wraps around his torso, and a warm body presses against the length of his back. 

"I know you showed me what you want, but this is what _I_ want." Jim yawns. "Take it or leave it."

Spock is still motionless, as if the slightest movement would scare Jim out of his bed. He listens to Jim's breaths slow down gradually, until they are almost silent. Spock feels his lips against the back of his neck.

Spock wakes up to harsh sunlight and an empty bed, and realizes he had fallen asleep.

"Morning, hot stuff." Jim shields his eyes as he grins up at Spock on the wire. "Saw your performance again last night. You're incredible, you know that? I don’t know how you do it. I’m deathly afraid of heights."

Spock looks at Jim for three seconds before focusing back on the tightrope again. He's shirtless today, freckles prominent in the growing sunlight. There is a slight sheen of sweat on his chest.

"What did I tell you," Chekov says with a heavy accent. "Mr. Spock never talks to anyone when he is on the tightrope, he takes it very seriously."

Jim makes a good-natured noise. "Maybe I'll get lucky one of these days." Spock dares a glance at the property man, and is caught off guard by the affection in Jim's eyes.

They’ve been sleeping together in Spock's bed every night since the day Jim caught Spock returning from Kodos' trailer. Jim refuses sex every time, opting instead to hold Spock close to his chest and press his lips to Spock’s nape.

Jim encourages Spock to talk. So he does. He talks about the various circus goers he has seen, his training as a tightrope walker. He talks about his family. One night he even talks about Pike and his growing circus.

"It would've been remarkable," Spock whispers, face buried in his pillow. "I knew Pike when I was starting my tightrope training. He didn't have his own circus back then. Pike was so kind, and he had a marvelous vision for his ring. I miss him every day." 

Jim doesn't reply, just soothingly rubs Spock's back until he slips into unconsciousness.

Spock lies with Kodos less and less. He feels stronger, more energized. When he smiles at the crowd after performing his gravity-defying feats, it feels less like a facade and more like a glimpse of his inner soul.

He always ends by blowing a kiss to the northeast side of the ring, where he knows Jim is watching him from backstage. Spock's performances are for only one person now.

Spock would ask Jim questions about his life as well. Jim's responses were always half-hearted, vague. Short. Spock assumed it was because the past was too painful to talk about, like many other refugees of this circus.

Spock never should've assumed.

"That child has been taking a fancy to you recently, hasn't he?" Kodos comments as Spock stretches his limbs, preparing for rehearsal.

Spock is distracted, twisting his spine. "Child?" 

"Jim Kirk," Kodos says. "Do you return his affections, by any chance? I feel as though I have been seeing a lot less of you recently." Kodos tries to touch Spock's hip, and Spock moves away.

"I have been preparing my new choreography." Spock climbs up the ladder, avoiding Kodos' probing gaze. He doesn't pause until he has reached the topmost platform, and stretches out to look at the proceedings below.

Uhura neatly catches her twirling baton and leaps across the ring. Scotty is juggling his unlit torches. Spock can't help a smile when he sees Jim come into view. Jim looks up and grins wide at Spock, waving at him.

Spock frowns when he sees Lenore creeping up behind Jim. Spock is the only one that can see her approaching due to his vantage point from high up. Jim notices Spock’s shift in expression and his hand falters.

Spock gasps. Lenore has a _gun_ in her hand. "Jim!" Spock cries out. He's helpless to do anything.

Jim's eyes dart to where Spock's pointing. He lunges.

Lenore screams as Jim grabs her arms. A gunshot echoes through the entire tent.

Spock has no quick way of getting to the ground. He slides down the long ladder, hearing chaos explode under him. He lands clumsily, and stares in bewilderment at the police swarming into the tent, past the other shocked performers. "Jim," Spock repeats, moving forward.

Jim has Lenore in a tight grip, pinning her immobile to the ground. The gun lies some distance away, where one of the policeman pick it up. His eyes look different. They look very grim.

"What is the meaning of this," Kodos demands, pushing past the policeman. "Lenore!"

Lenore is weeping. She is handcuffed, held between two imposing policemen. A dark-haired, handsome man in a long coat brushes forward, examining Lenore. "Good work, Jim."

"Thanks, Bones."

"He has to die," Lenore screams, thrashing. "He belongs to my father, not to some property man or another ringleader, not anybody!"

The dark-haired man swivels to look at Spock. The other performers have grouped behind Spock, warily watching the others. Spock speaks up, his voice trembling. "Who are you?"

"Leonard McCoy, private investigator." The dark-haired man nods at Jim. "Jim's my business partner. We've been investigating the death of Christopher Pike."

"Pike." Spock's eyes are wide as he looks at Jim. "You're a private eye?"

Jim doesn't look up.

"Condolences, by the way," McCoy says kindly. "Unfortunately, you were one of our main suspects, which is why Jim was sent to investigate you and your belongings."

Suddenly everything becomes distant, the performers pressing behind him, Lenore's crying, McCoy's continuing voice. "Now we know the culprit was the daughter of Kodos, Lenore Karidian, who killed Pike for trying to hire you."

"Spock belongs to my father," Lenore repeats, sobbing grossly. Kodos looks as stunned as Spock. However, Spock has learned one thing if anything from his years with Kodos.

Kodos is an excellent actor.

"Mr. Kodos, you'll be coming with us. You require further investigation on whether you were involved in Lenore's intentions." Satisfied, McCoy stomps away, leading the policeman out of the ring.

Spock stands numbly as the others trickle away. Jim stands up, dusting himself off. He finally faces Spock, eyes full of regret.

Spock wants to lash out. Instead, his voice comes out very small. "This whole time."

Jim's throat works. "I'm sorry, Spock."

"Sex was where you drew the line? Copulating with your suspect is out of the question, but it doesn't matter if he falls helplessly in love with you?" Spock laughs, a terrible sounding noise. He can't remember the last time he laughed, whether it was from pleasure or pain or sheer delirium.

"Spock." Jim sounds gutted. He does not deny any of the claims. He looks like he is debating on whether to move closer.

"Don't you dare touch me." Spock steps away.

Jim follows. "Spock, please," Jim begs.

Spock shakes his head. He knows Jim will follow him out of the tent, down the path and into his trailer. Doors will not stop him. Nothing will stop him from intruding into Spock's life once more - except for one thing.

Spock scrambles to the ladder and begins to climb.

"Spock! Fucking - wait!" Spock chokes on a sob, reaching the topmost platform once more. When he looks back down, he sees Jim holding the bottom rungs and craning his neck up at Spock. "I'm so sorry, Spock." Jim sounds close to tears. "I had to, you need to understand - I didn't think things would become like this. I'm sorry for hurting you."

Spock curls up on the platform and squeezes his eyes shut.

It's not the first time Spock has used this platform to shut out the world, and Spock assumes that is what Saavik is telling Jim below. 

Their voices drift off. Spock inches to the edge of the platform and watches Jim leave the tent with squared shoulders.

"He will not come back until tomorrow," Saavik calls. "He promised me. He does not want you to get injured."

Regardless, Spock doesn't descend until an hour past midnight.

Spock is firmly perched in the same place next morning when Jim comes to tell them all the news. Lenore and Kodos have both been tried and arrested. The circus performers have decided to make Scotty their new ringleader and artistic director. He is pleased with his new role, and is working hard to ensure the setback with Lenore and Kodos does not affect the circus. Spock stays out of reach the entire time Jim is present.

Hendorff has returned. Apparently the private investigators had paid him handsomely to 'quit' his job for two months while Jim worked as his substitute. His presence serves as a sore reminder of who Jim pretended to be.

The circus finally has their first night with Scotty as their new ringmaster. Spock knows Jim is in the audience. He saw him chatting with Uhura and Sulu while sneaking to his waiting room.

Spock doesn't look down, doesn't smile, and doesn't blow a kiss at the end of his performance.

"Don't you think you're starting to be a little bit dramatic?" Uhura says when the audience has cleared out.

Spock sulks and doesn't reply.

Spock is dozing lightly when he hears voices. He peels himself off the platform and looks down with a raised eyebrow at all the circus performers entering the ring with various ropes and tools. Jim is at the center.

Spock watches as they work busily, adjusting ropes and testing belts. He realizes they are rigging the safety harness system, and that Jim is now hooked to the ceiling via a wire.

Jim blows out a breath and does a standing pose. The circus members clap and look on appreciatively.

"Spock?" Spock startles, hearing his name. He looks down at Jim who has one shoe braced on the bottom rung. "I'm coming up for you!" Jim is already pale.

"You are afraid of heights," Spock says, bewildered. "You cannot even stand on a table. I have seen you attempt it before."

"You thinking that I don't actually love you scares me more." With that, Jim grits his teeth and hoists himself up the first few steps. He pauses.

Spock can't look away. "Jim, stop. You'll hurt yourself."

"I'm already hurting," Jim shoots back. "And so are you. And it's all my fault, so I have to fix it." Jim pauses again. "Besides, I have this safety harness. I trust your people to save me if I fall. Or pass out. Probably both."

Jim grits his teeth and starts climbing again. His progress is incremental, but he is getting closer.

"Fuck!" Spock looks down in shock, fearful that Jim injured himself. Jim is gripping the ladder so tight his hands are trembling. "Fuck, I fucking looked down - shit. I told myself _not_ to do that how many fucking times? And I still did it anyways?"

The circus members whistle and shout encouragement, as if Jim's stunt was an actual performance. Jim is frozen long enough that Spock thinks he changed his mind. Jim finally tilts his head up and opens his eyes. Spock is still looking down, a myriad of emotions swirling in his throat. Jim shakily lifts one foot and continues to climb.

All the circus performers cheer when Jim finally reaches the top and Spock holds out his hand. Jim grips it like a lifeline, and Spock hauls him up. "You made it." Spock allows Jim to crush his body against his, breathing rapidly. "You did it."

"You bet I fucking did. This thing secure enough for more than one person?" Jim is pressed against the platform, crawling further away from the edge, still connected to the ceiling with his safety harness. Spock's heart aches for this ridiculous man that just braved his worst fear to simply have a conversation with him.

"It is very secure." Spock hugs Jim again, burying his face into Jim's neck to hide a growing smile. "Oh, Jim."

Jim relaxes a fraction at the contact. He very tentatively removes his palms from the platform to wrap them around Spock. "I don't expect to be forgiven from this, by the way - I just want you to know how much you really mean to me."

"It means very much to me. You are in my world now." Spock leans over to kiss the edge of Jim’s smiling lips, and applause erupts below. Spock had forgotten the circus members had never left, and shakes his head as they loudly express their approval. 

Jim chances a glance and grimaces. "This act you do? Infinitely more impressive. I don't think I could stand up."

Spock agrees. "How are you even going to get back down, Jim?"

"We can worry about that later," Jim declares. "I went to the bathroom beforehand. I've still got some time left."

Spock can't help himself. The laughter bubbles out of him, soft and clear. Jim beams and kisses Spock again.

The idea of returning to the stable ground does not sound so unpleasant, for once.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! (or reaching the bottom of the page ^^) I appreciate all kudos and any form of comments! especially the ones w emoji spam 💖💖✨✨
> 
> If you enjoyed the hurt/comfort in this AU fic, [you might like this bodyguard AU longfic that I wrote for the 2020 T'hy'la Bang challenge! (Archive warnings apply, stay safe ^^)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24809797)


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